


Crystal Ball Confessions 2: Please Fuck My Mom

by Bubble_Song (Ode_To_Time)



Series: Cystal Ball Confessions [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Awkward Boners, Cunnilingus, F/M, Matchmaking, Time Travel, Vaginal Sex, Was not going to keep the title but popular consensus said i should, Will add more tags as I go, blowjob, handjob, request, tentabluges
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:07:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27941270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ode_To_Time/pseuds/Bubble_Song
Summary: John and Kanaya are now a couple! But the war is still ongoing and Jane is still a threat. Luckily, Rose has an idea to end the conflict swiftly and peacefully.
Relationships: Jane Crocker/Karkat Vantas
Series: Cystal Ball Confessions [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1988032
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This one was going to be a quick long shot like the first, but then it got longer. So dividing it up into other chapters. Might also be the case for future entries.

It had been a week since Kanaya gave Rose the bad news. They had ended on strangely amicable terms for John’s liking, but he didn’t want to judge. He really was not in a position to. Kanaya was going to be moving in with him and got most of her things, but Rose had _really_ wanted to see him. Kanaya assured him it wouldn’t be bad, but seeing Rose on the porch of their home, sitting in a rocking chair reading a small pamphlet did not inspire great feelings. Or, no, was that a magazine?

John shook his head, focusing on the task at hand. He walked up the porch, tapping his fingers on the railing. Rose looked up at him, her expression unreadable. But she didn’t look mad. John wanted to smile. He really did, but looking at Rose dug up all the guilt of what he had done. Instead of a hello, John opened his mouth and the apologies spilled out.

John: listen, rose, i’m sorry. i know that won’t change things, i overstepped— 

Rose held up her hand to stop him.  
Rose: I know John, and I am upset. Rose: But, I would be hypocrite.  
Rose: I think it’s best if I refrain from throwing stones.  
Rose: Regardless, you know Kanaya and I are getting a divorce.  
Rose: In retrospect, we should have done it when Yiffy was revealed.  
Rose: You two are free to be together. And I hope you have a good time together, with your child.

At that, John felt strangely relieved. Oh, he still felt guilty, but Rose’s words were a great weight off his shoulders. He sighed, content, and awkwardly forced a smile.

John: thanks, rose.  
John: i still feel weird about it.  
John: not just because of you, but the kids.  
John: i don’t know how harry will handle the idea of a half-sibling at this point.  
John: and vrissy and yiffy getting another sibling through a weird half-marriage  
John: and i guess tavros will now have a nephew?  
John: ... in fact, it’s a little weird how all our kids are related to each other through me and kanaya now.   
Rose: They always were.  
Rose: It’s amazing the sheer amount of incest we allowed.  
Rose: Remember, Harry is technically my brother.   
John: oh shit, what about roxy?!  
John: god, i look like a deadbeat!   
Rose: I don’t think she’d judge you for that.  
Rose: True, you slept with a married woman, but said married woman also had to deal with my infidelity and raising a child in secret for many years…  
Rose: It is a very complex axis in which to justify cheating.   
John: this is probably the first time where i’m not sure if you’re dissing me or yourself.   
Rose: I will say that my earlier statement about your happiness with Kanaya is entirely sincere.  
Rose: Kanaya deserves to be happy. If I cannot give that to her, but you can, then so be it.  
Rose: I have to take the L.   
John: well, that’s one thing i’ve dealt with.  
John: but uh...   


John rubbed the back of his neck, looking awkwardly to the skies. He didn’t know what to talk about now, but seeing a spork-shaped cloud reminded him.

John: what are we gonna do about jane?  
John: in all the hubbub i completely forgot about her.   
Rose: It’s funny you asked, because she’s why I asked you here.  
Rose: Do you still have your retcon powers?   
John: my what?   
Rose: Your ability to change the past and effect the present.  
Rose: It’s what you used to create the timeline where we all won?   
John: oh yeah.  
John: uh. John: i actually forgot i had that.  
John: i think i tried using it once but completely failed, so i just didn’t try it again.  
John: ... you want me to retcon jane out of existence, don’t you?   
Rose: Not exactly.  
Rose: I was thinking...  
Rose: mm   
John: what?   
Rose: This might be awkward for you.   
John: ... you’re not going to ask me to kill her, are you?   
Rose: No! Never.  
Rose: But I’ve been using my crystal ball to look back in the past, and I’ve noticed something about Jane.  
Rose: Or, rather, why she turned.   
John: so i need to go back and prevent that?  
John: what do i need to do?   
Rose: I think you should try to get her a boyfriend who isn’t Jake.

John wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Normally he could follow her up with his own wit, but her tone and expression told him she was completely serious. Completely, unironically, deadpan serious.

John: why?   
Rose: Because she’s lonely, John!  
Rose: Out of all of us, she was the only one without an endgame ship!  
Rose: Dirk and Jake, Dave and Karkat, she had no viable options.   
John: well, jade didn’t have an ‘endgame ship’ either.  
John: actually, nevermind.  
John: where am i going to find her a boyfriend?   
Rose: Ask Kanaya.   
John: why?   
Rose: You’ll see.   
John: how is this supposed to help?  
John: jane couldn’t have become a genocide fan just because she was lonely.   
Rose: No, but I have a feeling it made her vulnerable to outside forces.  
Rose: I think if we give her something to focus on, maybe she’ll turn out better.  
Rose: And we can retcon this horrible war!   
John: but won’t that make it so me and kanaya never get together?  
John: and tavros won’t be born which makes me kind of uncomfortable.  
John: which renders the whole thing pointless.   
Rose: Well, think of it this way.  
Rose: If you get Jane with someone, then they'll live together in domestic bliss up to this point.  
Rose: Jane is protected from malevolent forces, she stays sane, trolls live peacefully and are allowed to thrive, and there is no war.  
Rose: But despite that, Jane is not the sole reason we ended up as we did. True, she may have contributed significantly to it, but we all had our own issues.  
Rose: So, needless to say, averting the war does not mean averting our... divorces.   
John: when you put it like that i get it, but are you sure this'll work?   
Rose: I'm certain. It's my job to know. I'm a light player, after all.  
Rose: Now go talk to my ex-wife.   
John: fine. what are you gonna do?   
Rose: I picked up a hobby!  
Rose: Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have overpriced plastic models to paint.

* * *

Kanaya was still unpacking when he got back. She was out in the backyard, setting up one of her topiary plants with her chainsaw not too far away. She turned when she heard the back door open, a bright smile on her face. 

Kanaya: Oh Youre Back  
Kanaya: I Hope Everything Was Alright  
Kanaya: You Look Uncertian   
John: a little bit.  
John: i talked with rose.  
John: apparently she picked up a hobby in painting little models?   
Kanaya: Yes I Noticed  
Kanaya: Dirk Left Her Quite A Few Things And Some Of Them Were Plastic Models  
Kanaya: She Never Quite Found The Time To Paint Them However  
Kanaya: But What Did She Call You Over For   
John: it was about jane.

Kanaya’s posture stiffened. Her hands awkwardly picked at the leaves of her topiary.

Kanaya: Oh Dear  
Kanaya: I Imagine That Mustve Been A Difficult Conversation   
John: it kind of was, but not in the way you’re thinking.  
John: she said i should go back in time and... get jane a boyfriend.  
John: and she said i should ask you about it.   
Kanaya: Ah  
Kanaya: Well  
Kanaya: This Is Going To Be Difficult   
John: yeah, i know. there aren’t very many options for her that aren’t named jake!   
Kanaya: That Is Not What I Meant

Kanaya turned to him and gestures toward the pogo ride, her expression somber.

Kanaya: John Please Sit   
John: ... okay.  


He sat sideways on the pogo ride while Kanaya fixed herself in the tire swing, her hands drawn together. John didn’t know before today that someone could sit so gracefully in a tire swing, but was pleasantly impressed. Kanaya seemed to prepare herself before continuing, sighing once.

Kanaya: It Is True That There Are Not Many Options For Janes Courtship On The Human Side  
Kanaya: But The Troll Side Is Different  
Kanaya: And Before You Ask No I Am Not Talking About Gamzee  
Kanaya: Im Talking About Karkat   
John: but he hates her!   
Kanaya: Yes   
John: oh no.  
John: oh no no no no no. John: still??   
Kanaya: Unfortunately  
Kanaya: But Originally It Was More Typical To A Standard Kismesistude  
Kanaya: That Is To Say One Whom Vaguely Annoys Another Yet Is Still Endearing  
Kanaya: Of Course Now It Has Evolved Into A Potent Arch Rivalry Instead Of A Simple Annoyance  
Kanaya: Which Would Be Fine Under Most Circumstances But This One Is Particularly Dangerous  
Kanaya: But If We Go In Back To Before This Happened   
Kanaya: Then It Can Still Be Salvaged   
John: there’s one other problem.  
John: dave and karkat were still dating back then.   
Kanaya: Were They Though   
John: well, yeah! didn’t we all agree they were great together?   
Kanaya: At The Time Yes But They Never Put In Any Effort Into Their Relationship  
Kanaya: Do You Ever Recall Seeing Them On A Date Or Any Type Of Romantic Courtship  
Kanaya: Without Jade In The Middle At Least   
John: er, no...   
Kanaya: Exactly  
Kanaya: And I Speak From Experience Karkat Was Obessessed With Jane  
Kanaya: Rose Knows As Well  
Kanaya: And Not Even In A Romantic Context He Was Just That Concerned For Her At The Time  
Kanaya: Somehow He Just Couldnt Understand Why She Was So Nice To Him  
Kanaya: I Think He Was Still On Edge After She Was Mindcontrolled So He Thought He Had To Watch His Back   
John: and then he had it confirmed when jane became a genocide fan, huh?   
Kanaya: Yes But I Think He Was Actually Disappointed By That  
Kanaya: I Think He Would Have Preferred It Had She Just Stayed Nice To Him  
Kanaya: Regardless If You Use Your Abilities To Go Back And Bring Them Together Than I Can See This War Being Averted   
John: right, but the fallout wouldn’t be great.   
Kanaya: If Youre Concerned About Tavros I Assure You He Will Be Fine  
Kanaya: Or You Can Just Kidnap Him Again And Bring Him To Our Timeline  
Kanaya: Which I Think Would Be A Lot Better For Him   
John: rose said the same thing, and i guess that could work.  
John: but i don’t know how i’m supposed to get them together.

The two of them went silent for a moment, wind blowing in their ears.

Kanaya: Hmm  
Kanaya: I Suppose We Could Start By Getting Them In The Same Room   
John: this is gonna suck.


	2. Chapter 2

John stood before Jane’s home, a carbon copy of his own. Well, there were a few things that set it apart from his, like the lack of rotting birthday banners and her garden a bit more vibrant. Jane had taken better care of her home than his, he had to admit. He wondered why she ever left it for a big mansion.

 _this is going to be easy!_ , He reassured himself. Kanaya had already arranged a meeting for an empty Jade Cavern close to Karkat’s home, and he didn’t doubt her ability to convince Karkat to do anything. Now he had the harder part. Jane was stubborn and not so easily swayed, at least to his memory. He had to be smart about this, he had to be—

He shook his head. No, he shouldn’t be thinking about her like that. This was a Jane _he_ knew, not the one who called herself Jane in the future. Mentally, he washed himself of any memories of war or politics or xenophobia and clowns. This was a different Jane. Quite possibly, the _real_ one.

He knocked once. He hears shuffling from the inside, and the door opens. Jane’s expression lit up when she saw him. She seemed to leap forward and threw her arms around him in a tight hug. John hugged her back. Seeing her like this was... strange, yet comforting after everything that happened.

Jane: John!  
Jane: It’s so good to see you!

Jane pulled away from him, a bright smile still present. She guided John inside, her arm hooked around his. Naturally, her interior wasn’t much different from his, but it was now absent of the taxidermized and mutilated corpse of his post-scratch self. If he recalled correctly, Jane had booted him to the attic. Which he was glad about, he really didn’t need that harrowing reminder. 

Jane dragged him out of his thought process by tugging his arm, guiding him to her couch. She bolted into the kitchen and returned with two mugs, setting both on the coffee table.

Jane: I’m so glad to see you. I’ve been so worried.  
Jane: I told myself, ‘If John doesn’t get out of that house by the end of the month, then by Jove I will drag him out myself!’  
John: hahaha!  
John: it’s... really funny you say that.

John shifted uncomfortably on the couch. He took his coffee cup, but had no urge to drink it. Now here was his challenge: small talk. 

John: um.  
John: so what kept you busy?

Jane was in the middle of a sip when he asked, sighing when she finished. It sounded… exhausted.

Jane: Dirk, mostly.  
Jane: He keeps trying to rope me into his silly schemes.  
Jane: I keep telling him, keeping my company afloat is enough trouble.  
Jane: But, ugh, I really need to take a little vacation.  
Jane: I’m spending too much time away from you and everyone else.  
Jane: But enough about me, what brings you here?

Now she had turned it back to him. John brought the mug closer to his lips, blowing. He tried to look nonchalant, desperately hoping Jane wouldn’t notice.

John: i wanted to catch up.  
John: since i’ve been kind of a self isolating asshole.  
John: also, to check on you, since we haven’t kept in touch.  
Jane: Oh, don’t beat yourself up.  
Jane: It’s mostly my fault anyway. I should’ve taken the initiative.  
Jane: Which... has always been my weakness.

Jane went quiet for a moment. A long, awkward moment wherein her expression changed to somberness, before forcing a smile.

Jane: Do you want to go into town?  
John: no, i’m fine just sitting here.  


And they would have sat there, but John decided to rip the band aid off quick.

John: by the way, um...  
John: have you...  
John: been dating lately?  
Jane: Dating? Oh no!  
Jane: It’s been hard to squeeze that into my schedule.  
Jane: Plus I haven’t found a single fellow who doesn’t hold me to such an insanely high degree.  
Jane: No one ever told you that when you’re thought of as a god, it makes it much harder for you to relate to the average person.  
Jane: Not that I haven’t tried, of course.  
John: jeez, i know what you mean.  
John: every time i go to the grocery store, the store manager always says ‘actually, this is free! it’s the least i can do for a god!’  
John: and i always feel bad for not paying so i just give him a hundred boonbucks for putting up with me.  
John: and inevitably, they always treat it like a gift from the gods.  
John: which it kind of is i guess.  
Jane: It’s all so tiresome.  
Jane: I really wish I could go back to just being normal.  
Jane: Sometimes, I wonder if I should just disappear for a few years and wait until everyone forgot about me.  
Jane: Then come back and live as a normal person.  
Jane: Maybe then I could find someone to settle down with!  
John: well, uh...  
John: i might know someone.  
Jane: Oh!  
Jane: That’s really sweet of you, but I don’t think I’m cut out for dating.  
Jane: I have my own issues, and even if I found the perfect guy, I don’t think I could really...  


Jane went silent again, and her somber expression returned. ****

John: what’s wrong?  
Jane: It’s a bunch of things, I wouldn’t want to burden you.  
John: at least give him a chance.  
John: he’s not a fanboy or anything, so you don’t have to worry about him worshipping you.  
Jane: Is he someone you know?  
John: um,  
John: yeah.  
John: and you might know him too.  
Jane: What’s his name?  
John: ... karkat.  
Jane: Oh.  
Jane: Well.  
Jane: I don’t know.  
Jane: The few times I’ve seen him he seemed very... scared of me?  
Jane: Anytime I tried to talk to him he suddenly got skittish and had to excuse himself.  
Jane: He doesn’t seem shy at all... maybe I was just too forward?  
John: okay. um, well, i didn’t know that.  
John: (i wish kanaya told me.)  
John: don’t worry, we’ll go to a rendezvous and i’ll talk it out with him.  
Jane: Just like that?  
Jane: ... I trust you John, but I think Karkat’s fear of me runs a bit deep.  
Jane: Also, we?  
John: yeah, i want you to meet him!  
Jane: Err...  
Jane: Does Karkat even know?  
Jane: It’s deceitful if you try to set up us without him knowing about it.  
John: look, jane, i don’t think karkat is scared of you.  
John: maybe he’s just... intimidated?  
John: or, no.  
John: i meant he’s off put by you.  
Jane: John. :/  
John: arrgh!!!!!!!!  
John: look, please trust me on this.  
John: i’m certain karkat just built up this weird idea about you in his head.  
John: if he actually talked to you he’d be normal toward you.  
John: which means swearing and yelling a lot, but that’s just how he is.  
Jane: If you say so.  
Jane: But, John, I really don’t think I should date him.  
Jane: I would be fine smoothing out any misunderstandings, but I don’t think Karkat is looking for someone like me.  
Jane: Maybe we could arrange a meet-up some other time?  
Jane: Dirk wants me over on Friday, so-  
John: listen, i know i sound desperate here, but i don't think you should stay alone like this.  
John: i know that’s big talk coming from me, but i’m just as worried about you as you are about me.  
John: i think... you might get hurt if you stay alone.  
John: so...  
John: come with me and we’ll see how this karkat thing goes down.  
John: and... if it doesn't work out, then i’ll try to spend more time with you.  
Jane: ... I’d like that.  
Jane: Okay, take me to the rendezvous!  
John: alright, just grab my arm and we’ll be there.  
Jane: ... We can fly.  
John: this is faster, trust me.  


* * *

John zapped outside the rendezvous, a small hive carved into a cave. Kanaya stood outside, her arms crossed and her dress swaying slightly in the wind. She waves when she spots him, and he waved. Jane, meanwhile, looked a little woozy from the transfer. 

Jane: (Why is Kanaya here?)  
John: (she’s just here to help. i’ll talk to her real quick.)

He quickly trots up to her, just out of earshot of Jane. Kanaya wasted no time pointing to the hive, a satisfied smirk on her face.

Kanaya: Karkat Is Inside And Passed Out On The Couch  
John: passed out? what did you do?  
Kanaya: Well

* * *

Kanaya stood before Karkat’s hive, or at least a vague reconstruction of it. Karkat had naturally decided to replicate his hive from the game, as most of them did. For a brief moment, Kanaya considered having a tower built on John’s property. The thought disappeared when Karkat answered the door, looking as sour-faced as ever.

Kanaya: Hello Karkat  
Kanaya: I Will Be Comepletely Honest And Cut To Point  
Kanaya: John And I Would Like To Match Make You With Jane  
Karkat: WHAT THE FUCK?  
Karkat: I LITERALLY HAD TO GET OFF OF MY COUCH, AFTER I JUST GOT COMFORTABLE, DRAG MYSELF TO OPEN THIS DOOR, AND YOU TELL ME I HAVE TO LEAVE AND GO ON A DATE WITH JANE?  
Karkat: AND YOU AREN’T EVEN GOING TO LET ME RETURN THE GREETING?  
Kanaya: Yes  
Karkat: OKAY, NO.  
Karkat: I DON’T KNOW WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANT TO BE ANYWHERE NEAR JANE, LET ALONE PARTAKE IN SOME BIZARRE HUMAN COURTSHIP RITUAL WITH HER, BUT COUNT ME THE FUCK OUT.  
Karkat: AND GIVE JOHN TWO RAINBOW DRINKER PUNCHES FOR EVEN SUGGESTING THIS SHIT.  
Karkat: IT’S A JOINT GIFT FROM YOU AND I. ONE FOR BOTHERING ME, AND THE OTHER FOR ROPING YOU INTO THIS.  
Kanaya: I Am Not Going To Do That  
Karkat: WHY ARE YOU EVENDOING THIS?  
Karkat: DON’T YOU HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO?

Kanaya pinches the bridge of her nose, preparing herself for the reaction she knew she was going to get for what she was about to say. With a sigh, she continues.

Kanaya: I Am Doing This Because You Need Someone In Your Life To Keep You In Check And Jane Needs Someone To Keep Her In Line As Well  
Kanaya: As It Happens I Think You Two Would Be Great With Each Other Because You Balance Each Other Out  
Kanaya: And To Be Honest I Can Tell You And Dave Are Not Going Anywhere  
Karkat: BULLSHIT, YES IT IS!  
Karkat: WE JUST WATCHED ONE OF HIS STUPID COMEDIES THE OTHER DAY.  
Kanaya: Did You Enjoy It  
Karkat: NO, IT WAS FUCKING TERRIBLE!  
Kanaya: Then Why Are You Insisting On Calling It A Relationship  
Karkat: BECAUSE...

Karkat went silent, not saying anything for a good ten minutes.

Karkat: LOOK, IT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING.  
Kanaya: Karkat I Will Be As Honest With You As You Are With Me  
Kanaya: Sitting On A Couch Is Not A Relationship  
Kanaya: And I Know Your Irrational Fear Of Jane Is Motivated Or At Least Partially Motivated By Your Attraction To Her  
Karkat: I’M SORRY, I HAVE TO PAUSE.  
Karkat: IF WE WERE TYPING TO EACH OTHER, AND NOT SPEAKING, I WOULD HAVE TO SPEND A GOOD COUPLE MINUTES COMPOSING MYSELF INSTEAD OF STARING AT YOU LIKE A SLACK JAWED BAFFOON.  
Karkat: AND I WILL TRY TO PHRASE THIS AS NICELY AS I CAN.  
Karkat: WHO DIED AND MADE YOU THE MATCHMAKING EXPERT?  
Karkat: MOREOVER, WHEN HAVE I EVER SHOWN THE SLIGHTEST ATTRACTION TO JANE, AND WHY WOULD THAT MAKE ME AFRAID OF HER?  
Kanaya:  
Kanaya: To Answer Your Questions In Order  
Kanaya: Considering Our Fallen Friends I Will Let You Guess This One Because I Dont Want To Name Her Because I Think It Would Be In Bad Taste  
Kanaya: Second It Is Painfully Obvious Considering How Often You Stare At Her  
Kanaya: Whether It Be At Gatherings Or When She Appears In The News  
Kanaya: Or Your General Obsession With Her No Matter How Innocuous Her Activities Are  
Kanaya: Finally I Can Tell This Scares You Since Your Previous Romantic Escapades Have Not Been Well  
Karkat: WOW!  
Karkat: LET ME GUESS, ROSE OUT YOU UP TO THIS.  
Karkat: THIS ALL SOUNDS LIKE HER PSEUDO INTELLECTUAL ANALYSIS SHIT.  
Kanaya: This Is Not About Rose  
Kanaya: Although I Admit She Has Speculated This To Me In Private  
Karkat: WHATEVER, I DON’T CARE!  
Karkat: I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE NEAR JANE.  
Karkat: AND IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER WHAT YOU SAY TO ME.

Kanaya thought for a moment, trying to hide her annoyance. In reality, she expected this reaction, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t get annoyed by it. But she knew how Karkat worked. Play into his ego, and you can convince him to do anything. So, she took another deep breath and composed herself in one soft exhale. 

Kanaya: Fine  
Karkat: ... FINE?  
Karkat: THAT’S IT?  
Karkat: ALL THAT ARGUING AND YOU’RE LETTING ME GO JUST LIKE THAT?  
Kanaya: Yes Unfortunately  
Kanaya: I See You Are Stubbornly Clinging To This Fear No Matter How Irrational It Makes You Look  
Kanaya: And I Would Have Never Approached You On This If I Had The Slightest Doubt In Your Romantic Abilities  
Kanaya: I Was Truly Convinced You Could Woo Her But It Appears I Misjudged  
Kanaya: Its A Shame I Could Not Witness Your Romantic Prowess  
Kanaya: I Just Want The Best For You Karkat  
Karkat: WAIT.  
Karkat: ARE YOU IMPLYING...  
Karkat: THAT I CAN’T GET JANE TO LIKE ME?  
Kanaya: Oh I Perish The Thought  
Kanaya: I Know You Are So Very Capable I Am Just Surprised That You Dont Want To Prove Your Abilities  
Kanaya: It Would Be So Simple For Someone Of Your Caliber  
Karkat: OH, OH, OH!!  
Karkat: I SEE HOW IT IS.  
Karkat: YOU’RE TRYING TO REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY ME INTO GOING ALONG WITH YOUR PLAN, AREN’T YOU?  
Kanaya: Is It Working  
Karkat: YES  
Karkat: IN FACT, IT’S WORKING SO WELL, THAT I BET I CAN GET JANE FAWNING OVER ME LIKE A FLY TO A ROTTING TROLL CARCASS.  
Karkat: TELL ME WHERE JANE IS AND I WILL PUT THE MOVES ON HER SO FUCKING HARD!  
Kanaya: Thats Wonderful To Hear  
Kanaya: Now Turn Around For A Moment  
Karkat: WHY?  
Kanaya: Its A Surprise  
Karkat: OKAY.

Karkat turned around. As if a big red target was painted on the back of his head, Kanaya conked him hard enough to knock him out, and carried him away.

* * *

John: wow, you really have a way with words.  
John: why’d you knock him out though?  
Kanaya:  
Kanaya: I Dont Know


	3. Chapter 3

Regardless, Kanaya led the way, running upstairs to get Karakat awake. Jane grabbed onto John’s hand as they stepped inside, squeezing tight. Obviously, she was nervous.

John: i know you don’t know karkat all that well, but he’s not so bad. you’ll really like him.   
Jane: It’s not Karkat I’m worried about.  
Jane: It’s... me.   
John: eh, don’t worry about that. i know he says a lot of stuff that sounds mean, but he’s just a lot of hot air.   
Jane: Oh, I don’t mean I’m worried about him liking me, I meant I’m worried about...  
Jane: ...   
John: what is it?   
Jane: Do you remember when I was mindcontrolled?  
Jane: I said and did a lot of really terrible things.  
Jane: And for a long time I wondered... what if I’m really like that deep down? Just... controlling, nasty, and mean?   
John: oh.  
John: you weren’t in control of yourself though, so you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.   
Jane: But I only acted like that because of what she let me do!  
Jane: I can’t explain it but it was like... it was like she stripped away any moral fiber I had, and told me I could do anything!  
Jane: And the first thing I did was punch Jake.  
Jane: I didn’t want to hurt him, even if I thought he was being a jerk at the time.  
Jane: But at the same time, it felt so cathartic and that scared me so much.  
Jane: Not to mention, I said so many terrible things to him, it makes my skin crawl just recalling it.  
Jane: I apologized of course, but I still can’t get it out of my head.   
John: that doesn’t make you a bad person.  
John: jane, you think i haven’t said or done terrible things? of course i have!  
John: i’m not perfect. in fact, a lot of the time, i feel like a self-serving piece of shit.  
John: but i think... i think because i know what i did was bad then i can move on from it.  
John: and look at it this way, i did bad things even though i knew it was wrong.  
John: but you only did or said stuff like that because someone took away your morals.  
John: you never wanted to say those things because you knew it was wrong, right?   
Jane: Y-yeah.   
John: and you never wanted to punch jake either for the same reasons?   
Jane: Of course.   
John: so don’t let it control you.   
Jane: ... To be fair though, I still said a lot of terrible things to my friends before.   
John: but you apologized?   
Jane: Yes, but that doesn’t—   
John: don’t be so hard on yourself.  
John: you learned better.

Jane looked a bit better, but still uncertain. He couldn’t blame her. Really, his speech was meant for her _and_ himself. Sorry may not make everything better, but it was the first step.

He pulls her into a hug. Jane stiffens at first, but she returns it by hugging him tight. But that moment lasted a few good minutes before John was reminded of why he brought her here. Very loudly.

Karkat: _YOU!_

John turns to see Karkat, disheveled, pointing accusingly at him, with a very calm Kanaya in the background. Under typical circumstances, John would have been unconcerned, but then John realized Karkat was not pointing at him, he was pointing at _Jane_. Instinctively, he blocks Jane with his body, even though he knew Karkat wasn’t going to hurt her. 

Karkat stomps forwards, his face already tinting red as he approaches. His fists were clenched, shaking slightly even as he stood before the two of them. He didn’t say anything, just holding a neutral, pursed lip expression, until he awkwardly extended his hand.

Karkat: KARKAT.

Slowly, Jane moves in front of John and takes Karkat’s hand, shaking it once. 

Jane: Jane.

Karkat didn’t say anything else. He just stood there, paralyzed, staring at Jane while she awkwardly stared back. John could already tell it wasn’t going anywhere, so he broke the silence.

John: ... are you going to say anything else?   
Karkat: I WAS GETTING TO IT.  
Karkat: I DON’T NEED YOU BREATHING DOWN MY NECK!   
Kanaya: John Maybe You And I Should Give Them Some Alone Time

Kanaya cocked her head to the side. He understood immediately, nodding quickly.

Karkat: YES, THANK YOU! THAT WOULD BE GREAT!  
Karkat: IN FACT, ME AND JANE WILL GO UPSTAIRS AND HAVE A GREAT DISCUSSION, AWAY FROM THE TWO OF YOU.   
Jane: It would be Jane and I.   
John: right! great idea kanaya!

He walked past the both of them, with a thumbs up, wrapping an arm around Kanaya’s waist and leading her out.

John: me and kanaya will just scurry outside and talk about other things.  
John: have fun guys!

The two of them waved back as he closed the door behind them, leaving Jane and Karkat alone in the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter will be much longer.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tfw this chapter comes out longer than the last three chapters combined.
> 
> There will be an epilogue soon. Shouldn’t take as long to get out.

Karkat quickly led Jane upstairs, judging it as a suitable distance away from wherever Kanaya and John would be outside. He held Jane’s hand the entire time, leading up to the master bedroom and stopping in the middle of the room. He stood like that for a bit, not saying anything but clearly seething under the surface.

Jane: ... you can let go of my hand now.  
Karkat: RIGHT, SHIT, SORRY!

Karkat releases her hand, turning away and sitting on the bed. The room around them was a strange mix of human and troll furniture, with a recuperacoon tucked into the corner. To Jane, it looked like this was a place equally for trolls and humans to sleep. 

Jane glances at the tv, or just the troll equivalent of it. She inspects the array of dvds below, covered in troll text she couldn’t read. She figures if they were going to do this, they might as well try something simple.

Jane: So... what kind of movies do you enjoy?  
Karkat: WHY DID YOU AGREE TO THIS?  
Karkat: YOU THINK THIS IS DEMEANING TOO, RIGHT?  
Jane: Well, no. John is just trying to be a good friend.  
Jane: Did he trick you into this?  
Karkat: NO, KANAYA DID.  
Karkat: OKAY, WELL, SHE DIDN’T TRICK ME IN THE CONVENTIONAL SENSE, BUT SHE DID SAY ‘Oh Karkat You Are Just Such A Grand Romance Expert That I Wanted To See You Prove Your Skills By Romancing This Girl Rose And I Decided Would Be Perfect For You!’  
Karkat: AND I SAID, ‘YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M GOING TO ROMANCE JANE SO HARD, JUST TO PROVE THAT YES, I CAN DO IT!’

Surprisingly, Jane laughs at that, and Karkat looks at her suspiciously.

Karkat: WHAT’S SO FUNNY?  
Jane: Sorry, just the way you imitated Kanaya so perfectly just now! You did her voice and everything.  
Jane: But, I do understand if she said it like that. It does seem like she tricked you.  
Jane: But to answer your first question, I agreed to this because John asked me to.  
Jane: Actually, more specifically because he was worried about me.  
Jane: I’m not sure why, but if he’s worried about me, then I should probably listen. Experience says I should!  
Jane: What about you?  
Karkat: WHAT ABOUT ME?  
Jane: You didn’t agree to this just because Kanaya played into your ego, right? That seems silly.  
Karkat: SO WHAT IF I DID?  
Karkat: MAYBE I WANTED TO PROVE TO KANAYA THAT MY ROMANTIC LIFE ISN’T A DEPRESSING DEAD END!  
Karkat: MAYBE I WANTED TO PROVE THAT YES, I CAN GET ANYONE I WANT, SO DON’T CRITICIZE MY CHOICES!  
Jane: Oh.  
Jane: Alright.  
Jane: I suppose I understand now.  
Karkat: UNDERSTAND WHAT?  
Jane: I don’t mean to make assumptions! I’m just saying I understand why you agreed now.  
Karkat: WELL THEN, PLEASE TELL ME, BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU KNOW ME BETTER THAN ME!  
Jane: I never said I knew more than you!  
Jane: But, well, from what you said, it sounds like you’re lonely.  
Jane: And that you probably have some issues about being single.  
Karkat: SO WHAT IF I DO?  
Jane: Right... So what if you do?  
Karkat: _ARRRRGH!_

Karkat threw his head back in frustration, hard enough to send his entire body slamming against the bed. 

Jane: Hey! Listen, I’m sorry if I came off as rude.  
Jane: It’s just... you seemed really upset downstairs, so I don’t understand why you would agree to this.  
Jane: Especially since I was under the impression you were scared of me.

Karkat: I’M NOT SCARED OF YOU! WHY WOULD I HAVE ANY REASON TO BE? YOU’RE EASILY THE LEAST THREATENING HUMAN I EVER MET!  
Karkat: JADE IS MORE THREATENING THAN YOU, AND SHE’S HALF BARKBEAST.  
Jane: Hoo hoo, well, that’s not saying much.  
Jane: But I remember there were a lot of times when you went out of your way to avoid me.  
Jane: Which I understand if I made you uncomfortable at any point! But it still confused me.   


Karkat didn’t say anything for a good minute, sitting up. He glares at her, until he lets out a long, raspy sigh.

Karkat: _FFFFFFFFINE_.  
Karkat: YOU’RE RIGHT.  


He turns away, arms crossed, voice low, like he was admitting a shameful secret.

Karkat: (i was lonely.)  
Karkat: _WHICH IS FUCKING DUMB!_  
Karkat: I MEAN FUCK, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?  
Jane: That’s normal! There’s nothing wrong with that.  
Karkat: OKAY, TO BE COMPLETELY FAIR, IT’S NOT THE ‘I’M LONELY’ PART THAT’S BOTHERING ME.  
Karkat: IT DOES, BUT IT’S NOT THE MAIN THING.  
Karkat: IT’S JUST... WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS IF I’M NOT EVEN “”SINGLE””?  
Jane: ... You’re dating someone?  
Karkat: YES? NO? I REALLY DON’T KNOW.  
Karkat: AND JUST TO CUT THIS OFF NOW, I’M TALKING ABOUT DAVE.  
Jane: You and Dave?  
Jane: Well, he was the last person I expected.  
Karkat: WHO WERE YOU EXPECTING? JADE?  
Jane: Err, sort of?  
Jane: I thought Dave and Jade were a thing.  
Jane: (Come to think of it, I haven’t kept in great contact with Jade either.)  
Karkat: THEY JUST MIGHT BE. OR!!!  
Karkat: HE’S BEING JUST AS OBTUSE WITH HER AS HE IS WITH ME.  
Jane: I don’t understand.  
Jane: Are you saying you don’t even know if you’re actually dating Dave?  
Jane: That seems like something you should check first.  
Karkat: IT’S NOT LIKE I HAVEN’T TRIED.  
Karkat: ANYTIME I TRY TO ASK HIM, JUST TO BE SURE, HE ALWAYS GOES OFF ON SOME STUPID TANGENT, LIKE ‘OH BUT DOES THAT REALLY MEAN ANYTHING’ BULLSHIT.  
KARKAT: I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK? YOU JUST SLEPT IN MY LAP THE OTHER DAY BUT YOU’RE TOO AFRAID TO HOLD MY HAND?  
KARKAT: IS THAT A THING WITH HUMANS? I KNOW YOU GUYS DON’T HAVE QUADRANTS BUT ARE YOU ALWAYS THIS CONFUSED OVER YOUR OWN FEELINGS?  
Jane: Oh, all the time.  
Jane: But for Dave, I really don’t know about him.  
Jane: He’s a lot like Dirk to me, but just a little different.  
Jane: But even Dirk was upfront about his feelings to me, in his own way.  


Karkat groaned again, head in his hands. Jane sits down next to him, awkwardly patting his back.

Jane: It’s not your fault.  
Jane: I know what it’s like to be confused like that.  
Jane: And it does help to be more upfront.  
Jane: I had the opposite problem. I could never give a straight answer because I was afraid of being rejected.  
Jane: But I don’t think Dave should be afraid of that. You’re obviously interested.  
Karkat: THAT’S THE WEIRD THING. I DON’T KNOW IF I ACTUALLY AM.  
Karkat: DO I JUST HANG AROUND HIM BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANY OTHER OPTIONS?  
Karkat: KANAYA IS LITERALLY THE ONLY FRIEND I HAVE LEFT, AND SHE SPENDS ALL HER TIME AROUND ROSE OR OTHER JADES.  
Jane: What about Terezi?  
Karkat: NOT AN OPTION.  
Jane: Why?  
Karkat: SHE WENT INTO SPACE. ALSO, THINGS FELL APART, BLAH BLAH BLAH, NOW I’M HERE.  


He held his head in his hands, sighing again.

Karkat: I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M GONNA DO.  
Karkat: FUCK, AT LEAST WITH ALTERNIA, I HAD OPTIONS!  
Karkat: I MEAN, SURE, IT WAS ‘JOIN THE ARMADA OR DIE’ AND I’D PROBABLY DIE, BUT IT WAS _SOMETHING_.  
Karkat: NOW WHAT? I JUST BECOME A SAD ASSHOLE WITH NO GOALS IN LIFE?  
Jane: What did you want to do before?  
Karkat: I WANTED TO BE A LEADER, BUT _SOMEONE_ PULLED THAT OUT FROM UNDER ME.  
Karkat: BUT HEY, I DID GET TO DO THAT FOR A WHILE. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I DID A PRETTY GOOD JOB!  
Karkat: EXCEPT WHEN I FUCKED UP AND MADE YOUR UNIVERSE INFERTILE.  
Jane: Well, we all turned out okay.  
Karkat: I LOST EIGHTY PERCENT OF MY FRIEND GROUP.  
Jane: ... Oh.  
Karkat: BUT IT’S NOT LIKE I CAN BE A LEADER NOW, EVERYTHING’S SO DIFFERENT.  
Karkat: I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO RELATE TO OTHER TROLLS. THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO GROW UP IN A SOCIETY WHERE YOU’D GET MURDERED FOR BEING MUTANT.  


Jane went quiet. Her hands folded on her lap, idly playing with the hem of her shirt. She didn’t know everything about trolls, but her time under the Condesce gave her some information. Without saying much, she could tell the scars of Alternian society ran deep. 

Jane: Yeah, it hasn’t been easy. 

She shifts closer, her hand brushing his leg. 

Jane: I had to worry about my safety growing up too.  
Jane: Admittedly it wasn’t as extreme as yours, but enough to where my dad wouldn’t let me leave the house.  
Jane: But here, I don’t have to worry about that. It took some time to get used to.  
Jane: And, think of it this way,  
Jane: They may not know what it’s like to grow up on Alternia, but that’s good for you.  
Jane: You don’t have to worry about the caste system or people hurting you anymore.   
Karkat: I...  
Karkat: HUH.  
Karkat: I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE THAT.  
Jane: I have to admit, I was worried about meeting you.  
Jane: But you seem really sweet.  
Karkat: (... you’re not too bad either.)  
Jane: Hmm?  
Karkat: I SAID YOU’RE NOT SO BAD.  


Karkat was as red as a beet when he said it. Jane had to admit to herself, he _was_ pretty cute. Jane places her hand on Karkat’s knee, leaning closer. A red blush grows across his cheeks, his posture stiffens. Despite this, he leans in, closing his eyes. Jane kisses him, her lips soft against him. Idly, Karkat brings his hand up to rest against her side, just above her waist. Jane adjusts her hand to lean closer, moving her hand to his thigh. Karkat’s eyes snapped open, breaking away from Jane with a yelp. He turns away, hands covering his crotch. Jane jumps away from the bed, her hands raised.

Karkat: _SHIT!_  
Jane: I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that!  
Karkat: N-NO! IT’S NOT THAT!  
Jane: Did I hit something sensitive?  
Karkat: YES? KIND OF??? I’M JUST—  


He lets out a frustrated groan. Jane comes closer, hands drawn together.

Karkat: (shit shit shit. why did this happen now. she wasn’t anywhere near my bulge.)  
Jane: Karkat? What’s wrong?  
Karkat: _HAHAHAHA!!!!_  
Karkat: OH NOTHING! JUST MY STUPID TENTABULGE DECIDING IT WAS A _GREAT_ TIME TO COME OUT!  
Jane: Your what?  
Karkat: MY _SEEDFLAP_ , JANE!  
Jane: ...  
Jane: Your penis?  
Karkat: YES! FUCK! WHATEVER HUMANS CALL IT, IT’S FUCKING OUT!  
Jane: You’re... aroused?  
Karkat: YEAH, KIND OF!  


Jane’s face turned hot. She turns away from Karkat, trying to focus on something else. She looks to the door.

Jane: I-I should leave you to it then.  
Karkat: WAIT, NO!  
Karkat: I DIDN’T MEAN TO GET LIKE THS.  
Karkat: I JUST... FUCK, I DON’T KNOW WHY THIS HAPPENED.  


Jane turns back to Karkat, who had turned around not covering his crotch anymore. There was a slight bulge in his pants, which, to her surprise, seemed to be moving.

Jane: Do you want me to help you with it?

Karkat makes a noise like spitting water.

Karkat: _HELP!?_  
Jane: It doesn’t have to be sex! I just want to help you.  
Karkat: FINE!  
Karkat: JUST... TURN AROUND FOR A SECOND.  


Jane turns around, hearing the sound of a zipper and the shuffling of pants. 

Karkat: (okay, you can look now.)

She turns back to see Karkat still sitting on the bed, his pants undone and his knees slightly spread. Jane wasn’t sure what she expected, but the sight of a brightly red tentacle filled with unease and excitement in equal measure. 

Jane: Oh.  
Jane: Huh.  
Karkat: (what?)  
Jane: Nothing at all. I’ve never seen what trolls looked like, under there.  


She comes closer, kneeling at the bedside. Karkat shifts uncomfortably, averting his eyes. She brings her hand closer, watching as it curls towards her fingers. It was like it had a mind of its own. Of course, she had an idea of what she was supposed to do, but using human tactics on something like this seemed like a terrible idea. 

Jane: How do I... um, use it?.  
Jane: Do I just take it in my hand?  
Karkat: (yeah. let it curl around.)  


Carefully, she brings her hand closer, gripping it softly. It felt warm and moist under her touch. Karkat winces, but not from pain. The tentacle recognized what she was doing and wrapped around her hand, swelling and waning in size. Mesmerized, Jane turns her hand, watching as it moves to unfurl and re-adjust it’s grip. Karkat bit his lip, humming.

Karkat: (run your hand along it too.)

Coming closer, Jane allows the tentacle to wrap up to her wrist. She had no idea if what she was doing was actually correct; only going off of her own intuition. Slowly, her hand pulls back across his length, then back down. She repeats this at a steady pace, the warmth of the tentacle strangely comforting to her. Experimentally, she presses her thumb down when she brings her hand back. Karkat moans, covering his mouth as she continues. His eyes were closed in concentration, face tinted red and sweat on his brow. 

_He looks really cute like this._ Jane looks down at his tentacle—no, _bulge_ he had called it. It looked wetter than it had before, but she didn’t know why. She hadn’t been sweating, maybe he had something like precum she didn’t see before? As she continued to work his bulge in her hands, Jane wondered what it might be like to taste it.

Karkat’s legs began to twitch, his breath becoming more labored. In a small, shaky breath, he speaks again.

Karkat: (st-stand back, it stains.)

Heading his warning, Jane brings her hand back one last time, keeping her grip firm as she pulls away. Karkat twitched once, and that’s all it took. He came with a moan, red liquid erupting from the base of the bulge. Jane hadn’t released from his hand quite yet, so some of the warm genetic material pooled in her hand. 

She takes her hand away, gazing at the liquid with curious eyes. She looks down at Karkat, who was still recovering from his orgasm. Most of the material had puddled on the wooden floor. 

She quickly excuses herself to wash up and grab a towel, not wanting to leave the room a mess for Kanaya or John to find. Once she returns, Karkat removed his pants completely and was now using the blanket to cover him.

Karkat: IT GOT ON MY PANTS, SO I HAD TO WASH THEM. SHOULDN’T TAKE TOO LONG.  
Jane: I figured as much.

Jane kneels to clean up the puddle, keeping her eyes on the floor. She could feel Karkat staring at her, though she tried her best not to think about it, and by extension how naked he was under the blanket.

Karkat: (sorry.)

She looks up.

Jane: Sorry? For what?  
Karkat: (for asking you to do that.)  
Jane: I _offered_ to help you, it’s fine.  
Jane: Besides, it was exciting.  
Jane: I’ve always been fascinated by strange fauna.  
Jane: Not that you're a strange fauna, of course!  
Karkat: (yeah, I know.)

She folds the towel, sitting down next to Karkat again. Karkat looks away from her, still blushing. He rubs the back of his neck, face indicating he was lost in thought. 

Karkat: (earlier, when you said-)  
Karkat: (wait.)  
Karkat: I MEAN, EARLIER WHEN YOU SAID YOU HAD TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR SAFETY ON EARTH, WHAT DID THAT MEAN?  
Karkat: FROM WHAT I’VE SEEN OF JOHN’S PLANET, IT SEEMS SO BORING.  
Karkat: LIKE A PAINFULLY SANITIZED FAIRYLAND WHERE NO ONE HAS PROBLEMS, AND IF THEY DO, IT’S SOME PEDESTRIAN BULLSHIT LIKE ‘OH NO, I’VE RAN OUT OF THE SUGAR.’  
Jane: That’s a very serious problem, you know!   
Jane: Haven’t you ever had to make ten trays of cupcakes for an impromptu bake sale in one night?  
Karkat: NO.  
Jane: It’s a high stress situation, especially with stories closing by 10pm and you can’t even make substitute frosting because you ran out of milk.  
Jane: But, I was being serious earlier.  
Jane: I wouldn’t call Earth _completely_ safe, especially not my version, but I suppose it would seem boring compared to Alternia.  
Jane: Regardless, I was the target of assassinations because I was the heiress of...

Jane trails off, unpleasant memories forming in her mind. 

Karkat: OH, OKAY, HEIRESS.  
Karkat: THAT MAKES SENSE.  
Jane: Huh?  
Karkat: I HAD A FRIEND WHO WAS AN HEIRESS. SHE HAD TO DEAL WITH THE SAME SHIT!  
Karkat: IT WAS MOSTLY DIPSHITS WHO TRIED INFILTRATING HER HIVE TO KILL HER, BUT THEY NEVER GOT VERY FAR BECAUSE OF HER FREAK OF A LUSUS.  
Karkat: AND, Y’KNOW, SHE WAS MOSTLY HARMLESS.  
Karkat: AS IN SHE WASN’T RULING OVER OUR PLANET WITH AN IRON FIST. SHE LET EVERYONE DO WHAT THEY WANTED.  
Karkat: ALSO, SHE WAS UNDERWATER, SO THAT HELPED THIN THE NUMBERS.   
Jane: I would say it sounds cushy, but I don’t know if that’s excluding other dangers.  
Karkat: OH, THE MAIN THING SHE HAD TO WORRY ABOUT WAS OUR EMPRESS COMING BACK TO KILL HER.  
Jane: Empress?  
Karkat: YEAH, APPARENTLY SHE USED TO SEND ADULT ASSASSINS FROM HER FLEET TO GET RID OF OTHER HEIRESSES.  
Karkat: MY FRIEND TOLD ME SHE DIDN’T DO THAT WITH HER BECAUSE THEIR LUSUS TOLD HER NOT TO. SOMETHING ABOUT KEEPING THE BALANCE AND ALL THAT BULLSHIT.   
Jane: I bet when she didn’t have those restrictions it would have been a lot scarier.  
Jane: At the time, I tried not to let it get to me, but looking back it was pretty scary!  
Jane: When I first started the game, someone put a bomb in my mailbox and I nearly died early.  
Karkat: SHIT.  
Jane: Luckily I just got knocked out. But, then my dream self got stabbed.  
Karkat: HEH, JACK?  
Karkat: HE STABBED ME TOO.  
Jane: Right! Right.   
Jane: Although, with what you’ve just told me, I’m now not so concerned about the assassinations as much as I am about the one who orchestrated them.

She paused again, gathering her thoughts. 

Jane: ... I got sidetracked. I meant to say I was the heiress of a baking company, which was actually a front for the control and genocide of the human race.  
Jane: Coincidentally, it was actually founded and run by your Empress.  
Karkat: OH.  
Karkat: SHIT.  
Karkat: I SEE WHERE YOU’RE GOING WITH THIS.  
Karkat: SORRY ABOUT THAT.  
Jane: You don’t need to apologize. It’s not your fault.  
Karkat: UH, IT KIND OF IS?  
Karkat: I’M THE ONE WHO WANTED TO PLAY THAT GAME, AND IT DESTROYED EVERYONE IN OUR SPECIES EXCEPT HER.   
Karkat: THEN SHE FOUND YOUR EARTH AND DECIDED TO TAKE IT OVER.  
Jane: You couldn’t have known about that!  
Jane: As far as you were aware she was out in space doing her own thing. How were you supposed to know where she would end up?  
Karkat: LOOK, I FUCKED UP A LOT OF STUFF IN MY SESSION, AND I THINK I SHOULD DO THE RIGHT THING AND OWN UP TO IT.  
Jane: It’s not your fault!  
Karkat: YES IT IS, SHUT UP AND LET ME FEEL GUILTY!  
Jane: No!!!

Jane lightly racks her fists against his chest, barely enough to harm him and more to annoy him. Karkat grunts and covers himself, blocking her blows.

Karkat: OKAY, OKAY, FINE! I’LL STOP THE PITY PARTY FOR MYSELF!  
Karkat: BESIDES, WE WERE TALKING ABOUT YOU.   
Karkat: OR, THE CONDESCE, I GUESS.  
Jane: Right...  
Karkat: WHY WAS SHE SO INTERESTED IN YOU ANYWAY?  
Karkat: I KNEW YOU AND JADE GOT MIND CONTROLLED, BUT JADE SEEMED MORE USEFUL TO HER PLANS THAN YOU. NO OFFENSE.  
Jane: There were a few reasons.  
Jane: Most of them I learned while under her thrall. The tiara gave me a lot of insight about troll culture.  
Jane: Not everything, but enough that would be relevant to me if she succeeded.  
Jane: Mainly, I think she wanted me to be a miniature version of herself.

She pauses again, her expression gloomy. Karkat waits for her to continue, not wanting to rush her. Jane forces a laugh, trying to feign cheerfulness.

Jane: Funny thing about how she accomplished that!  
Jane: She mainly took away any moral compass I had and turned me into an emotionless robot.  
Jane: Except I wasn’t _really_ emotionless. She made it so I could only really express things like anger, but not much else.  
Jane: I did... a lot of terrible things.

A wave of shame washes over her. Karkat would probably be remembering what happened when they faced off against her, when she killed Roxy. Even if Roxy was back now, she couldn’t erase what happened. That was her fault. No use in feeling sorry for herself, she must look foolish. 

Jane: Sorry, I’m getting melodramatic.  
Karkat: SO WHAT? I UNLOADED MY PROBLEMS, WHY NOT YOURS?  
Karkat: AND DON’T GIVE ME THAT ‘IT’S NOT THAT BAD’ BULLSHIT.  
Jane: I wasn’t going to say that!  
Karkat: YOU WERE THINKING IT. I HAVE A SENSE FOR THESE THINGS.  
Karkat: FOR FUCK’S SAKE, YOU’RE ALLOWED TO BE UPSET ABOUT IT.  
Karkat: IT CLEARLY UPSETS YOU. DON’T HOLD BACK BECAUSE YOU THINK I HAD WORSE.  
Karkat: IT’S FUCKED UP.

Jane freezes. It was as if Karkat flipped a switch in her brain. She already understood how disturbing her situation was, but to hear it from him was _reassuring_. As if he confirmed everything she was too afraid to fully admit to herself. Her vision becomes watery, tears spilling over as years of pent up fear and anxiousness comes to the surface. 

Karkat: OH, UH...  
Karkat: FUCK, I DIDN’T MEAN TO-  
Jane: No, no, it’s fine.  
Jane: I needed someone to say that.

She wipes her eyes, sniffing.

Jane: That isn’t even the worst thing I did, I think.  
Jane: Is it alright if I say more?  
Karkat: THAT’S WHAT I’M HERE FOR.  
Jane: You know Jake, right?  
Jane: Looks a lot like John, but a bit different.  
Jane: Well, when we were younger, I had the biggest crush on him. But I could never muster up the strength to say so.  
Jane: When he asked me if I liked him, I panicked.   
Jane: I shot myself in the foot and ended up encouraging him to go for another friend in our group, Dirk.  
Jane: And what do you know, he did!  
Jane: I was upset of course. But I tried to be happy for him, and it was hard.  
Jane: To save time, I’ll say that I quickly realized I put Jake on too high of a pedestal and that he was a lot more self-centered than I thought.  
Jane: One thing led to another, I lost my temper, and ran off to feel sorry for myself.  
Jane: Eventually that left me vulnerable, and she sunk her claws into me.  
Jane: That was when we captured everyone and rounded them up.  
Jane: But before that...  
Jane: I don’t know why, but I felt compelled to tear into Jake more.   
Jane: And I said things.  
Karkat: WHAT KIND OF THINGS?

She tries to think of a lighter way to put it. Even thinking about it made her feel slimy.

Jane: I threatened him. Not with death or torture, but to force him into being my husband.  
Jane: Or, erm, matespirit, in your terms.  
Karkat: SHIT.  
Jane: Right?!  
Jane: I was mad at him, but I didn't want to hurt him!  
Jane: It was like I lost any sense of myself and became this nasty  
Jane: But once I was free, I started wondering if maybe that was a reflection of myself.  
Jane: Maybe I’m just like that deep down?  
Karkat: FUCK NO.  
Karkat: THE FACT THAT YOU FEEL DISGUSTED BY IT SHOWS YOU’RE NOT.  
Karkat: YOU WOULDN’T HAVE ACTED LIKE THAT IF SHE DIDN’T CONTROL YOU.  
Karkat: THINK OF IT THIS WAY.  
Karkat: HER IMPERIOUS CONDESCENSION WORKS ON THE IDEA THAT EVERYTHING IS HERS. SHE’S BEEN TOLD FROM HATCHING THAT SHE CAN HAVE WHATEVER SHE WANTS, BECAUSE SHE HAS THE BEST BLOOD COLOR.  
Karkat: SHE WANTED YOU TO BE LIKE HER, SO SHE TRIED TO IMPART THE SAME BELIEFS ONTO YOU.  
Karkat: BUT SHE COULDN’T DO THAT WITHOUT A BRAINWASHING DEVICE, BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT A FUCKING PSYCHO.  
Karkat: AND LOOK, I WILL FULLY ADMIT THAT I ADMIRED THE CONDESCE FOR HER CONQUERING EFFICIENCY.  
Karkat: AND MAYBE I DID HAVE SOME KIND OF JUVENILE FANTASY THAT SHE WOULD NOTICE ME AND MAKE AN EXCEPTION FOR MY BLOOD COLOR.  
Karkat: BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, SHE WAS A BLOODTHIRSTY, GENOCIDAL, GREEDY BITCH WHO TRIED TO FORCE YOU TO BE MORE LIKE HER.  
Karkat: SHE DID A PRETTY SHITTY JOB, SEEING AS YOU’RE STILL A DECENT PERSON WHO UNDERSTANDS BOUNDARIES.  
Jane: You... really think that?  
Karkat: I WOULDN’T SAY IT IF I DIDN’T BELIEVE IT.  
Karkat: BESIDES, I GET PISSED OFF AT PAST ME ALL THE TIME. THIS IS PRETTY FAMILIAR TERRITORY TO ME.  
Karkat: GRANTED, IT’S A LOT MORE SERIOUS, BUT I HAVE A HARD TIME BLAMING YOU WHEN YOU WERE UNDER SOMEONE ELSE’S CONTROL.

She wasn’t sure how to respond. A wave of relief and warmth washes over her. Her eyes water again, but don’t spill over. Karkat, seeing her reaction, quickly pulls her into a tight hug. She could tell he felt just as awkward about it as she was, but that was oddly comforting. Jane presses her forehead into his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his back. Eventually, Jane pulls away, a content smile on her face.

Jane: Thank you.

She cranes her head up to kiss him. Karkat closes his eyes and pulls her closer, his tongue slipping into her mouth. Jane can't fight the contented sigh that escapes her mouth, reaching up to cup his face. She wanted to hug him close and never, his presence intoxicating to her in a way she couldn’t describe. It was like he was her one sense of security and comfort.

The two of them pull away from each other to catch their breath, a light blush on their faces. She felt like she was on cloud nine, and in the haze of emotions she didn’t even think about her next words.

Jane: Do you want to do the full thing?  
Karkat: WHAT?

Jane, realizing what she just said, yelps and turns away.

Jane: I’m sorry I got carried away in the moment—  
Karkat: IT’S FINE! IT’S FINE.  
Karkat: I’M JUST NOT—

Karkat growls, pinching the bridge of his nose. He turns away from her again. He whispers something, just out of her earshot. Jane nudges his arm, trying to get him to look at her. She assures him she won’t be upset, trying to get him to face her. His next words are muffled again. The only word she deciphered was that he was nervous. 

She was about to ask him again, but Karkat turns and firmly grabs her shoulders. She held herself still, waiting to see his reaction. Karkat was still blushing, unable to look her in the eyes. Then, with a gulp, he kisses her, his eyes clenched shut. Jane kisses him back, her hands touching his knee again. Or, where his knee would have been. She couldn’t tell with the blanket.

When Karkat breaks the kiss, his arms move down to hold her waist, bringing her closer. They press their foreheads together, panting. 

Karkat: (i’m awful with shit like this.)  
Jane: That makes two of us.

Jane wraps her arms around him, kissing him again. Karkat sighs and snakes his hand under the hem of her skirt, pushing it down. Jane kicks it off her leg, albeit with some internal embarrassment on her end. She hadn’t slept with anyone before, so the virgin shame was still fresh in her mind. She could sense it in Karkat too, given how he instinctively tried to cover himself when she pushed the blanket away. She let him do so, not wanting to overstep her boundaries.

Breaking away from the kiss, Jane pinches the hem of her shirt and lifts it over her head. Karkat follows her example, though he doesn’t kick away the blanket yet. A tinge of shame hits her, and Jane covers her chest as soon as she tosses her own shirt away. She had lost a lot of weight since the game ended, but she still felt intensely self-conscious about someone looking at her naked. 

To her surprise, Karkat stands up and grabs her waist, bringing her close to him. One of his hands grabs her breast, squeezing her soft flesh. She felt something moist move rub up against her crotch. She looks down to see his bulge already peeking out from a flap-like piece of skin, bright red and searching for an entrance. Karkat’s nervous hand grabs her thigh, trying to guide it towards her entrance. She knew that probably wouldn’t be a good idea to do that so soon. 

Jane: Wait.  
Jane: Um, sit down on the bed, I want to try something.

Karkat wordlessly sat down, his knees parted like before. Jane knelt down, her hand reaching for the bulge that swells and writhes in the open air. It curls around her index finger, still warm and moist. She lets it wrap around her hand, but this time, she brings it to her mouth.

Karkat jumps when she runs her tongue against the tendril. It tasted bland to her. She expected something bitter, like what she read about. But instead, it tastes like slick plastic. Luckily, nothing she couldn’t handle. The bulge recognizes something new was touching it, moving to find its new partner. Jane pulls her hand away, bringing her mouth closer and allowing the bulge to push past her lips.

Karkat moans, his hands gripping the sides of the bed. The bulge swells inside her mouth, nearly causing her to gag. She grabs the base of his bulge, pulling herself away. She catches her breath, before bringing it to her mouth and pushing herself down.

She had no idea if she was doing this properly, but the moans from Karkat told her she could continue. Using her intuition, she presses her tongue along the underside of his bulge, pushing it against the roof of her mouth as she bobs her head up and down. She feels him tremble and swell in her mouth, a salty taste forming on her tongue. Karkat gasps and grabs her shoulders, pushing her away. 

Jane looks up at him, worried she may have overstepped her boundaries. Karkat seems to know what she’s thinking and shakes his head.

Karkat: (it’s not that.)  
Karkat: (you already did something like this for me.)  
Karkat: (so, let me take care of you.)

In a flash, he picks her up and places her on the bed. Leaning over her, Karkat plants a kiss on her forehead before moving down. His hands hook under her silky thighs, placing them on his shoulders and dips his head. 

Jane gasps as she feels Karkat’s tongue run over her wet slit. Her mind immediately went crazy, wondering where Karkat could have learned this from if he hadn’t even known what a human penis was. But that soon melted away into pleasure. She cries out as Karkat licks and sucks, pleasure building in her loins. Just hearing the slurping noises was enough to drive her crazy. 

Her hands wander, one at her thigh and the other grabbing her breast. Her gaze wanders down to see his head bobbing with every stroke. Idly, she reaches down and rubs his head. Her fingers tangle through his hair, tracing over his horns. She twitches and bucks against his mouth, growing closer to climax. Jane murmurs his name in a low voice, lightly tugging his hair. Once her climax hits her, she bucks her hips and cries out, thighs clenching around his head. When she finishes, her body relaxes, slumping to the bed with a soft sigh. 

Karkat rises from her between her legs, panting and his eyes half-lidded. He wipes his mouth, reaching down to grab his bulge. Jane covers her face as he lifts her leg. His bulge teases her entrance. She heard the first time always hurt, so she braces herself for the pain.

Instead, he slips inside her without a hitch, slick and warm. There was no pain. Only a pleasant and odd sensation of being filled. She looks down to see him blush and shudder, his hips twitching as he pushes himself inside. She feels the bulge _move_ inside her, pushing up against spots that make her whimper and moan. She bites down on her finger, body shuddering as the bulge swells and writhes inside. Karkat hooks her thighs around his waist, moving his hips in small, concentrated movements. 

He leans over her, planting his hands on both sides of her. Jane’s eyes flutter open to see his face, blushing and eyes closed. He slowly drew his hips back and forth. Though Jane would have preferred otherwise, Karkat didn’t need to be quick about it. His bulge practically did all the work for him. It swelled and shrunk in size, coiling against sensitive spots. Panting, Jane clutches his arm for support to roll her hips in time with him. 

Karkat’s pace grew a little quicker, though he was still deliberate. At this point, she didn’t care. Karkat made her feel _good_ and helped forget about all her troubles and anxieties. She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him into a kiss, her body hot as another climax builds inside her. Karkat grabs her thighs and thrusts into her, briefly drilling into her until she shudders and clenches around him in bliss. He gives a shaking moan and twitches inside, filling her with his genetic material. He hugs her close, burying his face in her breasts he rides out his orgasm. 

By the end, they were both a panting, sweating mess. But a happy one. After a few minutes, Karkat lifts his hips to allow his bulge to retract. Jane sucks in a breath as she felt it leave, feeling empty. 

Karkat kept his head buried in her breasts. His face was so serene and peaceful, she figured he had fallen asleep. At least until he spoke.

Karkat: (your spheres are really soft.) 

She can’t stop herself from giggling. Karkat lifts his head, a little annoyed, but not angry. Jane sat up, Karkat adjusting his position with her.

Jane: That was fun.  
Jane: Um.   
Jane: Maybe we should have gone on a date first, though.  
Jane: I feel silly doing that so soon.  
Karkat: YEAH. A LITTLE BIT.  
Karkat: BUT IT WAS NICE.

Jane gets out of the bed, hand covering her breasts as she goes to gather her clothes. She felt the genetic material drip down her legs as she did it. Which both disgusted and aroused her. Karkat stayed in the bed, arms crossed.

Jane: I suppose nothing’s stopping us from going on a date now, right?  
Jane: As long as you want to, of course!  
Karkat: YOU GAVE ME A BULGEJOB AND I SAW YOUR NOOK, IT’S THE ONLY LOGICAL STEP.  
Jane: I’m not sure what to tell John.  
Karkat: HIS STUPID PLAN WAS A SUCCESS. IT’S ACTUALLY IMPRESSIVE.  
Karkat: WE DON’T NEED TO TELL HIM WE DID ALL THIS. OTHERWISE, HIS HEAD MIGHT GET TOO BIG.  
Jane: Well, of course. It would be kind of inappropriate!  
Jane: It’s just... I don’t think it’s been long enough for us to have watched a movie.  
Jane: Do we just say we talked and had a heart to heart?  
Karkat: YEAH? IS THAT OUT OF THE ORDINARY FOR HUMAN COURTSHIP?  
Jane: Maybe. I’m honestly not sure.  
Jane: I don’t have much experience.  
Karkat: WELL, I HAVE LOTS OF KNOWLEDGE ABOUT TROLL COURTSHIP, AND THIS ISN’T OUT OF THE ORDINARY.  
Karkat: PAILING BEFORE THE FIRST DATE IS, BUT THAT’S BESIDE THE POINT.  
Karkat: SO DON’T WORRY, JUST SAY IT’S A TROLL THING.

Karkat kicks his legs off the bed, stretching his limbs. Jane picks up her discarded bra, contemplating taking a shower. It wouldn’t take long but part of her felt if they took any longer to get downstairs John might get suspicious. She wasn’t even sure _why_ she felt so paranoid about John knowing. Maybe it was because she felt like a slut for giving in so quickly. Would John see her that way?

A hand touches her shoulder. She turns to see Karkat, still a little embarrassed.

Karkat: HEY, UH.  
Karkat: I KNOW WE KIND OF GLOSSED OVER IT BUT...  
Karkat: DO YOU WANT TO SEE A MOVIE SOMETIME?  
Karkat: I HAVE A LOT OF CHOICES AT MY HIVE. YOU CAN MEET ME THERE INSTEAD OF GOING OUT IN PUBLIC.  
Karkat: IT’S PROBABLY PREFERABLE, I’VE SEEN HOW ANNOYING PEOPLE CAN GET ABOUT US.  
Jane: I’d like that.  
Jane: Maybe I can show you some of my stuff too.  
Jane: As in movies!

Karkat cracks a smile.

Karkat: OKAY, IT’S A THING THEN.  
Karkat: I THINK YOU’LL BE IMPRESSED BY THE WORLD OF TROLL CINEMA. 

He leans down to kiss her one more time. Jane closes her eyes and leans closer.

Right as that happened, the door swung open.

John: hey there! just coming up to see if everything was doing okay. you guys have been up for a while!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> absolute clown i am for saying this wouldn't take long 😔

Right as John registered _what_ he was looking at, Karkat picked him up and threw him out of the house, yelling all the while. What Karkat was _saying_ was incomprehensible to John, but he felt like he got the intent of the message. 

John lands on his face, which hurts, but nothing he couldn’t handle. He sits up, adjusting his glasses and wiping the grime off of them.

Kanaya: Um  
Kanaya: Are You Alright  
Kanaya: I Know Youre Godtier But That Was Quite Excessive  
Kanaya: Why Did Karkat Throw You Out In The First Place  
Kanaya: And Why Was He Not Wearing Pants  
John: hehe, well!  
John: i guess our plan worked better than i thought.  
John: i’m guessing jane and karkat had or were going to have some quality time together, and i interrupted them.  
Kanaya: That Seems Quick For Karkat  
Kanaya: And I Dont Know Much About Jane But That Doesnt Seem Right For Her Either  
Kanaya: Maybe I Should Check On Them And Make Sure Everything Is Fine  
John: i don’t think we should enter that house anytime soon. if karkat threw me out like that then i don’t want to see what he’d do if i try to go back in.  
John: besides, didn’t you say that karkat seemed pretty lonely? i got a similar feeling from jane too.  
Kanaya: Hmm  
Kanaya: I Suppose  
Kanaya: It Still Feels Odd  
John: well, let’s just jump ahead a bit. we can see if we affected anything in the future and then come back if we didn’t. it’ll be quick.

He outstretches his arm for Kanaya to take. However, a sharp door slam from behind causes him to look back, seeing Jane on the porch. Her hair was messy and her clothes haphazardly thrown on, as if she had gotten dressed in a hurry. She runs towards them, her face red. She waves her hands and calls his name, voice cracking.

Kanaya: Oh  
Kanaya: Jane Is Coming

She stops in front of them both, hands on her knees as she tries to catch her breath. She quickly straightens, face alight with embarrassment.

Jane: John! Um...  
Jane: is it alright if I talk to you privately for a minute? Away from Kanaya?  
John: yeah, sure, of cour— _AH!_

Jane yanks him away, a little farther away from Kanaya until they were out of earshot. John turns towards Kanaya and motions for her to turn around away, which she did. He wasn’t actually sure if that was going to help, but it was the thought that counts.

She stopped, releasing his arm with her back still turned to him. Shoulders tight and fists clenched, she stayed turned away from him for a good minute before sharply turning around.

Jane: I’m sorry you had to see me like that, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea!  
Jane: I didn’t force Karkat or anything. And I wouldn’t normally do that since we first met, but I’ve been lonely for a long time, and Karkat was so nice to me, so I felt—

John grabs her shoulders.

John: whoa, hey! it’s fine. i won’t judge you for that.  
John: sure, it surprised me but i’m not going to think less of you for it.  
John: what? did you think i would call you a slut?  
Jane: Maybe…

John laughs.

John: you’re the last person i would ever think of as a slut.  
John: did karkat make you happy and or safe, even in that hour you guys spent together?  
Jane: Well, yes.  
John: then i can’t judge you.  
John: and you know what, even if that was just a fling, i’m happy for you. i think you deserve it.

John could tell she was still internally struggling with the idea, but his words seemed to give her some comfort. She smiles at him, a little sad, but reassured.

Jane: If you really think that way, I won’t beat myself up over it.  
Jane: But!  


Jane’s hands clasp his face, tilting his face down to face her.

Jane: _You_ need to get out of that house and get some sunlight!  
Jane: Or I’m dragging you out kicking and screaming, you hear?  
John: okay, okay! if you say so, _mom_.  
John: i'll just have to, um, set a reminder for myself later.

Jane smiles and gives him one last hug, before awkwardly excusing herself back to the hive to calm down Karkat and get herself cleaned up. John decides that would be a good place to end it, taking Kanaya back home.

… But not before teleporting to his past self, passed out on his couch with the tv still running in the background, and leaving a post-it note on his forehead.

* * *

Kanaya stayed back at his house (probably for the best, in his opinion. Seeing her ex-wife so soon did not feel like a good idea) and immediately went back to Rose. She had moved inside now, working on that model she had mentioned before. She was really focused on it too, in a way John could only assume was her way of coping. At least she was handling this well. John announces his presence by huffing and places his hands on his hips. 

John: alright, i helped jane and karkat!  
John: i'm hoping i did all this right.  
John: this kind of stuff still isnt my forte.  
Rose: I don't even know what you were worried about, you did everything perfectly.  
John: um,  
John: does that mean you and kanaya are still together or?  
Rose: If I wanted you to avert my infidelity I would have had you slap some sense into me by telling me to warn Kanaya.  
Rose: But averting a race war was more important.  
Rose: Regardless, no, Kanaya and I still aren't together.  
Rose: Evidenced by these.

Rose picks up a stack of papers and shakes them for emphasis.

Rose: But enough of that, let's discuss the timeline differences. Rose: Most obviously, no race war.  
Rose: But there were... a few other problems.  
John: did i have a freakout?  
Rose: Yes, but not as severe.  
Rose: We can have a makeshift therapy session about your obvious depression but allow me to explain.  
Rose: For one... Dirk still dies, so that was an entire event.  
Rose: But there were no clowns or clown shenanigans at his funeral.  
Rose: There were still Roxy's gender issues, everyone getting married and having children, which put pressure on Jade so she went to me...  
Rose: But Jade and I... did not have the same luxury as our previous timeline.  
John: kanaya found out earlier?  
Rose: Not Kanaya.  
Rose: You see, in the original timeline, we decided it would be best to go to Jane to send Yiffy to a boarding school.  
John: why?  
Rose: So we didn't have to juggle Yiffy between each other! And you don't need to tell me how ridiculous that was.  
Rose: But instead of doing that, we...  
Rose: Well.  
Rose: I kept asking Jane for a steady amount of money, that I used to pay for Yiffy's tuition.  
John: couldn't you and jade have paid for that yourself?  
Rose: And explain where that money was going to our spouses?  
Rose: It's not until recently I recovered enough brain cells to make logical decisions again.  
Rose: Regardless, Jane eventually found out using her sleuthing, and confronted me about it. Which resulted in Jade and I having to break the news to Kanaya and Dave.  
John: shit. guess that's where i came in, huh?  
Rose: Yes, you whore.  
John: thanks!  
John: but what about jane and everyone else?  
John: roxy and i are still divorced?  
Rose: Yes, but after Dirk's death and the cheating, we've mostly been on our own. Rose: We still talk, but it's awkward.  
Rose: But Jane is fine. More than Fine, I’d say. She and Karkat are married, and they have a kid.  
John: adopted, right?  
Rose: ... No.  
Rose: Look at this.

Rose hands him a framed photo, showing Jane and Karkat, dressed in nice clothes with a young boy on their lap. He looked more like Jane, with round glasses and short black hair in a similar style and their family’s buck teeth. He looked so bizarrely familiar, with the only trait he seemed to inherit from Karkat being their horns. In fact, he looked a lot like...

John: that's just tavros!  
John: but now he has........ horns?  
John: this is the happiest i've ever seen him.  
John: jake was his dad in the other timeline, how does he look so similar?

Rose just waves her hand nonchalantly.

Rose: Its basic genealogy. Jane had a child with two black haired men, of course they're going to look similar.  
John: but is this.. really tavros?  
John: is he still stuck in that other timeline?  
Rose: No, I can assure you, this is tavros.  
Rose: But here, his name is Jessie, and he's had a much happier life.

John looks back down at the photo. He had a strange mix of emotions looking at it. Unfathomable happiness and joy at averting the war and getting Tavros a happy ending. Yet there was some part of him that was angry with himself, for not doing this earlier and avoiding so much grief. He didn’t even realize he had been shedding tears until Rose came closer and awkwardly touched his face. John wiped his eyes, sniffling as Rose shifted away.

John: sorry. _that’s_ embarrassing.  
John: its just that so much shit happened, you know?  
John: and i didn't do anything to fix it until now.  
Rose: I know. Its fine.  
Rose: But things are better now because of you.  
Rose: Surpisngly. Given how this all turned out.  
Rose: But you should go back to Kanaya now. I don't want to become an emotional Bull.  
John: hehe, yeah.  
John: i'm gonna choose to ignore that, but one more thing.  
John: do your seer powers have any explanation for why jane and karkat can have a human troll-kid too?  
Rose: Butterfly effect.

The two of them let that sit for a while.

John: that’s as good an explanation as any. 


End file.
